Ben's Story - April 5th, 2017

Some people can be in your  life for years and don't ever really ever get to know them and some people can be there for only a short chapter and you feel like you have known them forever.  Benjamin fell into the second category and into our lives via my oldest son Dustin, at his recording studio.  I remember him talking about this guy from Hensall who came in to record and he said mom you'd love his music. And he wasn't wrong.  Flash forward, this kid with a huge personality and great sense of humour (complete with fake British accent) won all of our hearts.  I had always become “another mom” to the friends my sons brought home. And Ben went one step further and became a part of my teaching staff when I discovered he played piano.  His students adored him, basically, to know Ben was to love him.  Ben worked with me, played gigs with Dustin and I, we even wrote a song together, he became one of the family,  one of the boys.  This was solidified the day I heard a crash from the teaching room as my Washburn guitar fell which he was using it to teach.  The same guitar my sons had broken the head stock off not once, but 3 times before.  I said "Ben what was that?" from my desk and he said

"ummmm your guitar" and laughed his (how could you be mad at "me") sort of laugh and gave me that sheepish look and I said “well, I guess you're officially part of the family now!”  Then on a Tuesday morning Victoria Day 2015 I saw a news post, a 22 yr old had been in a car crash near Exeter at 7:50 and was airlifted with life threatening injuries , I knew that was Bens route to work.   My worry rose as he didn’t text back, when I messaged hey just an over reactive mom response… you got to work?  There was no timely response that he was known for.  I spent the day trying to find out what kind model his black little car was and then at 4:30 I got word he was in surgery after a head on collision with a transport and was critical.  After days of touch and go and us trying to help Ben's family cope with the stresses of being hung up in a hospital (bringing them food and drinks) he miraculously survived.  He came back faster and stronger than anyone could imagine, months before the doctors predicted and with more pins and rods and valves than you can imagine.  He had his guitar in his hand to recover, his family was intensely devoted and did not leave his side, we supported them in order to support him.  We had a benefit concert three weeks after and to everyone's amazement, Ben had himself wheeled in, broken and battling, and sang Drift away with the band.  It was one of the most moving moments I‘ve had and anyone there agreed.  Ben thrived but still had heart problems due to the accident. His damn aorta was just not co-operating with him after all of the damage it had undergone, but it didn't stop Ben

from going back to school to become a paramedic.  So fitting as he was a giving, loving kind of person and he was paying it forward.  He had found love in his personal life and with his friends and family who were so passionately dedicated to him.  Like I said to know Ben was to love him, everyone agreed even if you got mad at Ben it wouldn't last, he would just give you that smile.  Then he had one more surgery, from what I understood as it had been awhile since I had visited with Ben and he was busy with his new chapter in life. And yet on a Tuesday, while at the stop lights, I thought, I must message Ben.  The next day I read a post by his sister he was having open heart surgery that day. I quick sent him a message hoping he'd find it in recovery and he responded a quick Thanks Steph:)  His usual timely response.  I watched for an update and in this case “no news was not good news” finally I read unexpected and severe complications arose during his surgery and again we waited like a flash back of almost two years earlier.  Finally the devastating news arrive that Ben had slipped away from us, my heart broke for his family.   And for everyone who had loved him, and there were many.   He left this plain for what I imagine to be a softer gentler place, without the limitations of our physical being. His energy, larger than life, has now become infinite and his music lives on.  We all came together as musicians, family and friends to create together the most beautiful celebration of life held at his high

school gym, lead by his music teacher.  The day was filled with music and memories and any other spaces were filled with Ben’s cd playing right until the last moment of the day as we packed up and beyond, as while in the vehicles it was still playing, wrapping us with his presence,  his huge presence and I was honoured to sing hallelujah for the final song of the celebration, One of Ben's favourite songs to sing, I sent out a silent request to Ben to help me deliver it to this gymnasium full of his friends and family and with an inspired moment I sang Hallelujah…  and it goes like this the forth the fifth, the minor falls and the major lifts.  Ben will be missed just like Little Will from St Marys, whom I've heard of so much of and Dan Rankin as well,  their fragile hearts and big spirits moved on way to soon and yet we are so much richer for having had them in our lives... and in our hearts they will live on forever.