Fears and Phobias... And Spiders

I had a request of some article ideas and one of them was phobias, which I thought I could easily write upon from personal experience as I sure do have some that have been challenged lately.  Now fear as defined in the dictionary is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.”  Which could be rational and real.  A phobia is defined as “an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something”.   So that makes it irrational where as a fear could be rational…  So here is my personal take on the subject… Hiking lately I have faced one of my phobias… spiders… the very thought of them runs pangs of crazy fear through all of my veins, and yet, are they in any way going to harm me?   Ah, no!  But my word, I have quite a reaction to these tiny (but gianormous looking creatures)  that I don’t seem to be able to get a grip on.    So at Wildwood while walking the trails the humid, hot weather seemed to attract spiders, spiders and more spiders!  Their webs crossed the trails in some spots and created obstacles.  If able to we would duck under them or around them, but they were everywhere and reappeared in bigger numbers and webs the next day.  Although I completely had the phobic heebeegeebees, about them, I was fascinated and took lots of pictures of their amazing webs.  Which made me less fearful and less phobic and was fine as long as they were not close enough to touch me.  And sometimes phobias can create more of a danger than the actual “unrealistic fear” actually can.  For example, me walking up the path, thinking it was clear and straight into a giant web, in which I immediately jolted back from, and let me set this up, I was heading up a hill with my Commander Kim behind me and my boxer dog Nikki, who is like a crazed moose in the wild was also running the trail.  Soooo as I walk into the web, and immediately (irrationally) freak out, my dog decides it’s the perfect time to run directly behind me as I am trying to step back out of the web (which has a big huge mother of a spider in it) and I proceed to begin falling backwards, down a hill, and in CKs recollection, in slow motion.  Which I would agree.  I knew I was falling, I knew my moose of a dog was under my legs and that this was a hill, which did not offer any level ground to save myself on.  AND there was a big ginormous spider somewhere in the mix!  So as I think, oh @!#! I am falling, still a bit surprised and very conscious it will not be at the expense of my ankle.  (I had promised myself if I was to fall again I would do it fainting goat style as to never reinjure that spot again!!)  And since I’m already half sitting on the dog there wasn’t really that much further to go.  Luckily we were in the tall grassy area that was like landing on a cloud and fortunate to have.  And after cursing the dog, I could hear CK saying, but are you ok??? Are you OK?? And by this time I was laughing saying yes, Im good,  and I had not only survived the spider I had survived the moose and the fall.  And we started to laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and glad no one else was on the trail to see this ridiculous episode.  (so instead I’ll write about it) but reflecting back on it (which I am not able to do without laughing) I realize that maybe my fear, or phobia of spiders is actually more dangerous than the threat of the spider (which is NONE)  well not in Ontario anyways.  And I do know that if I ever see a spider in my car, I PULL OVER… because then an irrational fear could become seriously dangerous!!  Then as my friend said, I become like a mob boss, I kill it, it’s family and burn down it’s home. (ok well not really but it is my deepest instinct).  So I am trying to make peace with spiders or at least avoid them and It actually makes me appreciate the colder weather which brings our area to have much less to be phobic of, not like in other warm countries where they grow giant insects that I don’t think I could ever come to peace with.  Baby steps!!  And then there are just good old fears.  Like crossing the street when cars start out far away and really have no intention of slowing down.  I think my fear is far more rational then the spider one.  A full size vehicle with a driver that clearly doesn’t have any concept of erring on the side of caution actually could be tragic.  And it made me miss BC… very few bugs and very courteous drivers.  People let people in and if you were crossing the street traffic stopped.  You step up to a curb and both directions stop.  It is weird and takes a lot to get use to as here in Ontario we like to speed up and drivers are often (not all by any means) can be very aggressive and un-courteous.   And sometimes it rationally makes me fear for my life.  So I know I should listen to that and no fainting goat stance in the intersections.  Fear of crowds can be real but not a danger, planes, well maybe, maybe not.  It is a bit of a balancing act, we must live our lives fully and face our fears, without being reckless and endangering yourself and others.  And spiders… well I’m still working on that! 

Walkin Away From Summer

This time of the year always seems to have the same effect on everyone!  Sheer exhaustion!  The end of the summer hurrah straight into the back to school and activities.  My friend said she was having a bet with another friend on when their over excited little ones would hit the wall, one thought Thursday and one thought Friday... and ironically we all agreed the kids hit the wall around Friday and then moms hit the wall Saturday.  Without warning the invisible wall jumps up and slams you!  The back to routine and extra hours and running and chasing and organizing and signing and tryouts and for me back to teaching and lots of scheduling!  But without that wall, who knows, the kids and their momagers, or dadagers, would possibly just speed straight out of the earths atmosphere.  So therefore the wall has value and parks us for a day or a few hours or opens up the vents on the pressure valves.  Now during all of this (post amazing, awesome holiday) as soon as I returned home my friend and walking coach decided we were going full steam ahead.  My ankle, which I sprained at the beginning of summer, feeling almost back to normal and I was very happy to be getting back at it.  Although I had done enough walking in the summer it seemed that even with all the nice produce out there, ice cream just kept finding its way into my life. Thankfully BC had given some great terrain to wear off the stops for ice cream and helped my ankle get back into shape.  My good

friend Kim, (who I've talked about before as my "walking coach" who I call "Commander Kim" or CK) had also returned from a summer of travels with her 3 little girls from the west coast and the

eastcoast and had also been hiking amazing Canadian terrain and had a slight sprain slowing down her running, decided that since she can't run as much she will have us walk and hike everyday.  So, what could I say except YES!  My season pass which I didn't get as much use out of for hiking at Wildwood before leaving was now going to be put into great use!  She knew the trails and I'm a great follower, and getting out and getting moving is so much easier with a friend, especially a highly motivated, don't give me any excuses (edited for public reading) kinda friend!  So by the first couple weeks in September I have logged in 59.3 km into my RunKeeper App.  So excited to be on the trails in the area that remind me of BC and are beautiful and nature filled.  My dog is super happy as she gallops through the woods, taking in every new site and smell.  My energy level goes way back up and gives me a boost for my new almost full schedule.  Fall always has that great smell in the air and reminds me to just "get out and do it" as the next season (which I will speak of) is just around the corner, and there will be enough time for staying in during those months.  Those months which I will  yet again attempt to embrace.  But I am so glad to have the feeling like I am getting my fill of nice days, in hopes to stalk up for the shorter days.  A great night away with the girls at Wildwood was just a topper on the cake.  We are still working on a band name for our musical project and  6 women deciding on anything is not a simple process (and has been ongoing for a few years) although  "Gas Station Cat Fish" officially got the boot. (sorry Sawyer).  But we all agreed it was exactly what we all needed, a fun time away with good friends.  Laughs, campfire, music and lots of talking... until

very late... I fell asleep listening to 2 still chatting lulling me to sleep for a short time before the chatting and morning coffee talk started all over again!   Life gets busy, work, family and responsibilities consume  so much of our lives, pressures mount and sometimes we just need to make sure to take some time for some relief in our busy lives. Hit the release valve!   And if life is boring, still the same remedy still seems to apply,  doing something fun, something fulfilling or something new.  For me... hiking, great friends, laughing and music ...  now that is my kind of therapy!  

BC ~ 2017

I am writing this article from beautiful BC, beautiful Victoria, BC to be exact!  My first vacation in quite awhile and it has been wonderful!  I have traveled to the west coast many times in my 20s as my best friend from 9yrs old on moved here when she was 23, and I traveled pretty much yearly to see her and absorb BC, I made for several trips even making a trip with Dustin and my mom and then Jesse and my mom.  Then adding one more baby I think my getting away years slimmed right out. Finally about 5 years ago I returned for a quick visit.  But this year for my 50th Birthday I wanted to do something substantial to prove I hadn't withered up and forgotten how to live (and since Joanne was home in Toronto for her 50th) I decided to head her way to ring in the first bit of my

50th year with her and BC!  My plan was to bring Max and spontaneously Jesse was able to join us!  Which meant double the fun and a good combination of fun for the boys.  Our first stop on our thus far whirl wind vacation was Vancouver where a friend hosted us for a few days, and leant us his car when he had to be off to watch the Seahawks for his birthday with his daughter and that day we traveled to Whistler, the drive itself of course was half of the amazing beauty, the next day was Stanley Park and Gas Town, two more amazing parts of Vancouver and then I think my favourite part was jumping on the ferry to go from Horseshoe Bay to Nanaimo where Joanne picked us up for the next leg of the journey!  Like heading straight back to our youth my kids were somewhat amazed to

see us belly laughing within the hour of our visit.  We were adventurous youths and that never changed for either of us.   We went to her hubbies family condo on a beautiful resort near Qualicum Beach and absorbed all of the breathtaking views, and the next day set out for beaches and had one night in an amazing campground where I slept on the ground, something I haven't done for years and had on my 50 checklist to make sure I still "had it".  Most of our youth was spent in tents and canoes.  We hiked (a baby hike) through some beautiful areas and I was able to check that off my list as well!  Then beaches and more beaches and Long Beach I think was my favourite so far, however they were all spectacular!  Well except the one lake with the spectacular view, nestled in the mountains with the amazing drive through the bad of a mountain on a steep cliff filled gravel road.  As when we arrived the park worker informed us that they had the "itch" in their beautiful lake.  A term I hadn't heard but was enough to turn the bus around.. especially after the description of a two day itch of the skin (some people

with sensitive skin may get) from tiny parasites that find their way under your skin.... we bailed after absorbing the beautiful view and taking a few photos and headed for the fresh ocean waters at yet another beautiful beach.  My favourite part of travelling is staying with people who live in the areas as they know all of the best spots for everything.  It was nostalgic for Joanne who raised her kids there (now young adults) and took her down a fun memory lane!  We made our way back to Victoria to her home and now to absorb

this beautiful ocean front city.  We have a few shopping missions, some key areas to see in Victoria and at least one more beach before our return home from this almost two week vacation!  Jam packed awesome vacation!  Back to my roots and back to my love of nature and inspiring me for my next summer when I plan to hike!  A goal for this summer until I severely sprained my ankle at the end of June, which didn't slow me down much in work and gigs but did take me out of the tennis and rugged terrain activities.  For my shows I just put on a boot and tied it up tight in case I forgot myself in the moment and turned or twisted the wrong way.  And I follow (on Instagram) hiking and

camping adventurists the way people follow musicians.  With the exception of John Mayer I find most of them hum drum, but the hikers as I commented recently are "my version of rockstars!"  Music comes easy, adventuring and nature were always my passion that got lost in the shuffle of life.  But this seems like a perfect time to re-explore that area and with my other passion (Music) now being my work, I am happy to find a hobby!  And I get to pretend I'm a rockstar upon my return as I fly in the morning of my next gig at the Mitchell Fall Fair with my awesome new band (Steph and the RoadHounds) and experience stage and jet lag which I don't anticipate to hit me until the following week... when I get back to fall lessons.   But then I feel like maybe that won't even happen as I feel BC revitalized and relaxed from this chill and beautiful side of Canada.  It is always worth the trip and I will still talk about moving here monthly, especially now that i have realized they do not need screens for the windows, no bugs, or very, very few.   And the cool, warm, fresh air, just add to the beauty of our awesome west coast.  I must say the beginning of 50 is just wonderful!  

Favorite Part of 50

Well I can honestly say I'm not sure what my most favorite part of turning 50 was.  This past week I flipped over my speedometer to just over half a century! Holy moly! So I guess it was fitting on my actual birthdate I had a gig at the Museum!  Which begins with one of my favorite things! I had a wonderful evening of performing with my gals at the Melodies of the Museum in St Marys and this year the weather cooperated and we played our show outside on the lawn of the museum.  Dustin did sound for us as I have made a commitment to making my life more stress free and sound is much easier given to an outside party!  My morning was met with my usual 6am Tims coffee by my hubby and a birthday wish, followed by my wonderful friends (not following my no gifts policy and hunting me down to drop off flowers and chocolates and books ... I mean how well do they know me?! Working with a few people that day with lessons with my awesome students and a fruitful songwriting session with young Delaney who I was just watching our songs unfold thinking of how music is just a part of some people's makeup and how it just comes so easy it seems magical! Which reminds me of the night before my birthday I had a magical night with my Improv group from last winter and well, it was more fun and more friends, and it too was just a magical night of friendships and summer!  I know for sure as I "join the club" that so many welcomed me into, not only am I in great company there are many rewards!  50 feels to me young, I feel "well" and I my time clock just did a "*beep* or get off the pot" setting.  I don't believe in waiting for retirement as both of my parents didn't make it even to 62.  To me losing people early is not a reason to be upset, although it can be a sad time, but yet it is a reminder to cease every day and to do things you love and to tell people how much you think of  them and appreciate them! I have believed for a long time, a eulogy is just a tad to late to tell people, and really we all only have this moment,

so don't squander it.   Find something to do that makes you feel good and for me it is Music with my friends and my family.  I do love my work and teaching but music just for fun is a whole other event. Which leads me to my next fun birthday event, which I decided to have a birthday party jam session, of course I invited key people from all parts of my life which creates an eclectic group!  A simple jam session with munchies and music and my fav people! My band(s), my boys, my family. And my friends.  And just after I set up the jam room Dustin arrived with his gear, I inquired how much we actually need? And he assured me a good light show was everything and well you can never have too much gear.  Well I felt like I never left the stage, maybe enough to serve some cake but what a fun night!! I jammed with friends and family and band(s) old bands merged with new, my kids jammed out and it was just perfect! (I do think my most fav merge was when my two gal bands, some of my new and old, merged) It was en evening of musical and magical moments which I think comes from this interesting age of no expectations and appreciation for those "real" things.  Things money can't buy, although I am not opposed to money... "cause it could buy me a boat"  (sorry I just broke out in a country song) and at the end of the evening it was down to me and a couple friends and Max took the stage, conveniently after everyone had left. And I must say his hidden talent (well not hidden to mom) we could hear from the other side of the yard, was just the perfect topper to the night!  When

he decides to share it with the public, it will be a delightful thing!  He has an amazing voice, which I always knew he had! This show was then followed by the question, sooooo can I have a party to use up the cool jam space and munchies? So the night ended with me back in mom roll and unsure as to how to answer him as the next leg of my "turning 50 plan" takes place early Tuesday morn as we leave for the airport to head west for a few weeks.  Me and two of my kids.  Randomly picked out of a hat... just kidding! A spontaneous trip was booked months back in the winter as my "I'm getting old and I need a vacation" moment was in place and well it just kind of transpired!  Going to visit one of my very first best friends in BC, it is always like back to our youth when we are together and we rang in her birthday in Toronto in February so it's only fitting I should go to her side of the country (which is one of my favorite places to be) so next time I write it will be from the mountains and with my west coast connections!  It is for almost 2 weeks to make up for all the years I haven't taken any time off for me!  So needless to say I am really excited to ring in my next half century with so many gifts, so many wonderful people, so much music and some travel and new exciting fall projects! Life is truly what you make it, as they say loss and heartache are inevitable, suffering is optional. In the words of Gord Downie, this is not a dress rehearsal, so don't just and forget all about what makes you "sing inside" it that is painting rocks on a beach with algae, then do it! If it is

running, then run, if it is jumping out of a plane, then do it, just as long as you have your parachute! And don't wait, start today, even if that means just looking it up on line or even just trying to think of what it is that would be fun!  Even that can be fun!! And you're never too old, or too young to start!!  Age is truly just a number, on the inside, and happiness give a youthful glow at any age! 

Canada Day 2017

Well I must say the Canada Day events in Mitchell were outstanding this year with amazing turn outs for the 150th celebrations.  The rain did dampen part of our show on the Friday eve, but the rest of the evening was great with the rain holding off for the outdoor fun festivities!   The fireworks so very generously sponsored by McNains were fantastic and I think everyone was in awe!  They seemed to go on forever and what a light show it was.  I think the overcast skies made it look even more intense.  The following day in the park was also well attending, food, the traditional parade of Canada Day decorated bike, and again, the rain for the most part held of and for certain did not dampen this 2nd day of celebrations!  Unfortunately St Marys wasn’t quite so lucky and was soaked a few times by heavy downpours that sprouted up and poured down on Canada Day, but Heritage Days was definitely a make up date with blue skies and perfect temperatures!  Outdoor events are always such

a hit and miss with weather, and these days it may be raining on one side of the road and not the other.  Even the radar is not able to predict some of the rain storms that seemingly pop up out of nowhere, however, we all are use to the Canadian summers, fast and furious with unpredictable weather.  In between weekends I had even more fun events, I found my way up to my sisters cottage, all of our children, most of whom are now all adults and with kids or dogs and significant others.  Making our stay even more fun as the tribe grows.  It was a real treat to spend the weekend with all of them, as it is always tricky for everyone to manage to get to the same place at the same time as schedules become busy with jobs etc.  But this weekend everyone was there and it was a weekend of kayaks and boats and water and sun and fun.  It was so nice to just stop and enjoy this time!  And to reflect back on how it seemed not all that long ago that the ones with little ones, were the little ones!  But we all know how time flies and doesn’t seem to be slowing down at all!  The next part of my week consisted of some very cultured events, as Max and I went to the Stratford Festival

for several plays (a cool part of my job with the Stratford Musicians Association)  and we saw three very different performances.  The first day we saw Twelfth Night, it was a fun show, and of course very well done.  Then we saw Guys and Dolls, well now I had heard rave reviews but they still didn’t come close to describing how absolutely amazing this show was!  A musical, with dancing.  I am always a bit disappointed I cannot see our world renowned orchestra as they perform all of these numbers that the actors sing and dance to, however I guess maybe it would take away from the show, but the dancing was just fantastic and couldn’t help but find ourselves completely absorbed into the story line!   The Orchestra Conductor, even came out and danced the last number with the cast!  Max and I talked about the show all the way home and our third show of the week we saw Treasure Island.  This production was at the Avon, such a beautiful theatre, I am always so in love with all of our theatres.  So lucky to have them right in our own back yard!  This was what they described as a “relaxed show”  maybe it was a special set aside day, but we were so impressed with the Festival and their cast of Pirates who took extra time with the audience, kept the lighting up slightly for anyone to come or go, had quiet rooms in the

lobby, and some of the cast took the time to explain the show to the audience and that no one was getting hurt and how the guns sounded when fired etc.  There were audience members with special needs and were they ever met by the Festival.  And child friendly!  What a great way to attend the theatre and to experience the magic in such a “relaxed” way.  Kudos to the person who brought this to the board and made it a reality!  Anyways the play was exciting and action packed and full of great effects and acrobatics.  I always know that the Festival will bring about the best theatre productions and of course musicians to our community.   A good way to feel like a tourist right close to home.  There are always sales for shows on FaceBook and you can be on the email list to get special offers.  So now I do believe the only question of the summer will be “to be, or not to be” Entertained!!

Camp Bimini - 2017

Well as I reached the table to sign Max in for teen week at Bimini, Carol reminded me, this would be my last time waiting in line at camp with my kids.  She asked me how many years it has been and I had just been thinking about it and figured (although I wasn't exactly sure) it was around 15 years from start to finish.   15 years of waiting patiently with an excited camper(s) in tow, ready for a week of all out fun, high energy outdoor activities, adventure and lasting friendships!    As 50 awaits me, patiently around the corner, lurking, I realize that I am now entering territory that is completely new to me.  No more kids in public school, 3/4s of them not living at home.  If it wasn't for my straggler, I would be completely empty nested.  Which even with only one at home I realize how strange this feels.  I am in no hurry for his high school years to end as I know all to well how quickly these (longest/shortest) years pass by.  I haven't been completely dumped into the "uncool department" by Max but only because some of his friends think that I am "ok".  I mean the only people not impressed by my job and my musician lifestyle are my kids.  Who think it is normal, boring, inconvenient, and well I'm sure lots of other things that I haven't thought of.  I guess everyone else's life always looks more interesting.  But then again, when was it ever easy to impress a teenager?    At least I understand the teenage stage from experience.  It's what I like to call the "tending the empty store stage"  you can't leave and go anywhere because they could resurface at any moment.  And a pretty much you can count on the fact they will be "starving" and nothing in the

house will appear to be of any interest to them.  Sleep becomes the new pass time, that falls second ONLY to their social network.   Friends and social is now at the top of the list, and I am very glad that at least I have a previous map from my older 3 sons.  The male language will become barely audible, which led me to constant reminders that "mumbling" and "shrugging" is unacceptable form of communication.  I made a big point of redirecting this with my other sons who are all very good communicators. (although now the challenge is getting in the same room with them for any length of time).  But this is a result of raising kids who are independent and doing their own thing.  During the teen years I moved myself into the management position.  I try to give piles of leeway for them taking care of their world, with only a few things being the worth going to battle about.  I figure if you haven't instilled what you want to instill in them by around the age of 10, you're quite likely beyond redirect.  The teenage years I hear are very different for girls then for boys.  Boys you just want them to stay safe and survive the reckless activities they may see as a great idea in their momentary thinking.  Girls, from what I hear share their hormonal, emotional roller coaster ride everyone who happens to be in the building or the vicinity.  But as I know first hand about sons, I know they can somewhat withdrawn, but you can always guarantee they will show up when hunger calls, regardless of whether there is "nothing to eat" in the full fridge and any disagreements or disputes are not really held for any longer than the incident itself. (which is kinda nice!)   Sleep as I mentioned is that new hobby that we question, however I did watch a documentary before my first batch of teens that stated, it is not

actually laziness, it is actually the bodies response to this giant growth spurt their bodies and brains are going through, it is comparable to that of which an infant goes through and the sleep requirement is very important for brain development.  It was called "Inside the Teenage Brain".  I was really glad I watched it, because I don't know I would have handled all the sleepers quite so well. It was also stated that this stage was a formative part of the brain and personality development, and what they learn in these years is very indicative of their adult lives.  So positive, functional lifestyles can be great for their future!   I always love talking to teens and seeing where they are at, this age group is very interesting and there is so much knowledge available to them now, they are a really cool generation with a lot of really interesting ideals and very good at articulating them.  Some are 100% sure of what they want to do in the future and some are still looking. I find my students are all so interesting to work with. At the last showcase I found myself watching Dustin's student watching him intently for direction during their performance and was impressed with the guidance they accepted from us as their teachers and the trust in what we are showing them.  Then I thought of Dustin questioning me and anything I ever had to offer him in the way of a suggestion and I had a big chuckle as I realized there is a good chance we can not get this from our own kids. (but as my mom said... "just you wait, you'll have kids worse than you.. but I didn't)  But it is healthy as they grow and age, to separate from us, I mean if they needed us to go to their first job interview with them and hold their hand, well we could be pretty much guaranteed we'd be paying for them to live at home forever.  And as much as it is hard to watch them grow and become independent, free thinking young adults, who will inevitably make mistakes that will give them the life experience to grow and find their life path, I think it is natural to find it bitter sweet.  To watch them go and realize it is great and sad all at the same time.  To have the house for a week, kid free, and yet a bit too strangely quiet, but not

really.  Knowing it is taking them to the next stage of independence and sporadic visits that I love.  So to say that after my conversation with Carol (even though my car will be back for 4 years I'm sure for Max to be a Councillor)  I know that my waiting in line is now done, the walk back to my car seemed a bit odd, a bit nostalgic.  Drop off as a Councillor is much different) Our conversation in line was good, and these are moments of the next 4 years that I know I will savoir.  I and at that time I will be closing in on 20years of "to Bimini and back".  And as slow as that line up to see Carol did seem all those years, how fast it has gone by!!  

Ribfest 2017

I started writing this article from the parking lot of Camp Bimini waiting for Max to get in the car after a quick outfit change to get ready to go to his show at the Stratford Blues and Ribfest with the Mitchell based Alivia Judge Band. My car of course knows it's way to Bimini after years (or probably more like decades) of travel to the famously fun camp! Also with no end insight for another half decade as this was Max's leadership training camp to become a CIT next year.   Now after this weekend my car has also memorized the way back and forth to the Stratford Vetrans Bandshell for the Stratford Blues and Ribfest... The weekend began with me hitting the stage early Friday evening with my new band (Steph and the RoadHounds) We had a blast and loved the venue!  Sound guys were fantastic and more importantly, I didn't have to do it!! (Set up, run sound, or tear down!) We stuck around to hear all the other great music that evening and it was great!!  Saturday I was asked to sing backup for a song with St Marys, Stone Town Cowboys, which is a Lynyrd Skynryd Band (and since I didn't get to live out my life's dream Of performing with the actual band, well this was pretty close!). Rain skirted around the event, gave a few blasts before the events opening acts each day but brought mainly sunshine and beautiful weather for the showtimes!  So much talent! And free (and accepting donations) it was a well attended and wonderfully run event!  My buddy Stevie T took on the main leadership role and kept it as a well oiled machine, the sound as I said was stellar and the vendors had something for everyone!  It was awesome to see wee ones dancing, and people of all ages attending!  It truly was a community and family event! Sunday the youth talent started out with Alivia Judge Band with Max on drums and Dustin at the helm guiding the group, on bass, a few of our other favourite Deep Water and Skyline people Jaron and Mackenzie backed up the talented Alivia, who has written all of her own songs!  I being back for this somehow became the MC for the youth talent portion!  Ok well I loved doing that and was happy to thank the TD Bank who sponsored this!  I myself was sponsored by the Sunset Diner in St Marys, I got to plug their burgers and wings on stage and I guess it is something you just hear but these events are mainly driven by sponsors in the community.   The hours of volunteer work to put together such an event I know well.  But standing at the event is always the reward and having a full house (or lawn/tent and road) was just such a great reward!  I always believe in promoting and supporting music in our communities as it brings us out together to enjoy something in common!  Some people poo poo the noise but I do believe they are by far the minority.  I was even delighted to see the mayor of St Marys and family wandering in to the event to enjoy the music.  I was equally glad to see he had survived the new cliff diving feature at the quarry!  We sure do have some awesome things to do in this area!  Packing every moment into summer that we possibly can.  Saturday started at 9:30 drop off at Bimini and ended into the wee hours of the morning watching the amazing Dylan Wickens at the DH after the early (noise bylaw) closing downtown, it was just a wonderful night of music that just didn't end.  The last band (Juno award winning, and absolutely amazing trio) MonkeyJunk sat front row to watch their fellow blues player perform.  It was a magical night.  I love the blues and all of these bands who are original and amazing with great chops and so much skill and talent!  Stevie T did a great job this year leading the team in getting an amazing weekend of entertainment, with all of the people involved helping him and I can't wait to see all the photos and footage from the young videographer and photographer, who were everywhere!!  And I am just at home for a quick spell dropping Max and writing this before heading back for 5 the last two acts, Stevie T and Yeager to finish out the event. I must admit I'm a bit tired and my recently sprained ankle only created minor set backs. But with now several shows and a showcase behind me, I prepare for Canada Day celebrations with more musical projects both in St Marys and Mitchell! The question remains... how to pack so much great stuff into one seriously short season??? Hope to see you all out in the summer festivities!

Summer Time Slam

I always seem to be surprised that my summer becomes booked up to the brim, even though every year it is the same deal.  February, March and April I think hmmmm, summer will be very calm and then WHAM!  Along comes all of the events and the festivities!  Live music is now, wonderfully, becoming a part of most of them.  Somehow I have also found myself in several bands as I’m sure I mentioned before, however, when things tend to get a bit slow and projects are not as overloading, I get nervous… anxious… plain freaked out!  My natural status is busy and moving.  I have decided there is just nothing wrong with this (and it’s only taken me “almost” 50yrs) to accept this.  I love social, it is fun, it is rejuvenating and it is a good use of energy for me.  I respect those who love their solitude and the more I except and nurture my social side the more I enjoy the solitude in life.  My desk is always filled with paper and 5 different jobs on the go, but this is what makes my world tick.  I do know I could use a bit more order and shelves, but for now it is just ok.  I know that nothing ground breaking will be happening until the excess of busy shows are enjoyed and over!  July 1st looks like the first day of possible rest.  Also we throw into the mix, Max’s graduation from grade 8 and his birthday, the forth and final graduation from public school is both exciting and a bit sad to think, the last of the boys to be in public school.  Highschool goes past like a flash and wow, I don’t want to even think about how quiet my life could be with him off to college.  (although I am careful to say this out loud, as usually when I think this or say it, some or all of my adult children announce they will be moving back home “for a bit”) It seems as the years go by the faster they speed by and the quicker the youngest of the tribe grows up, maybe that is because I know with our older children, just where this is headed.  So fun though that a couple of my musical projects include my boys and now Max is part of his very own band.  A sign of the times, they are a changing!  He has joined in the Alivia Judge Band, and it is so exciting to see a youth band form and watch them begin to lead themselves and perform at some of the same venues.  I will be at the Stratford Blues and Ribfest on the Friday night and they will be performing at it on the Sunday afternoon.  It is kinda cool to see how they evolve and I’m pretty excited to play at it also with my new band Steph and the Road Hounds (I got to have my name in the band name since I refused to be called a “RoadHound”)  I prefer the title of “Queen”.   I figure 50 has got to have some perks, and being Queen could be one of them!  So as usual I am putting my seatbelt on for the flurry of activities ascending on me for June, I am gearing up for our last student showcase of the year with Deep Waters Music and Skyline Studios students at the Stonewillow West Lawn Marquee in St Marys.  It is such a nice “almost outdoor” venue for the end of the year.  The students who wish to perform, join their teachers and showcase their music they have worked hard on since our Christmas showcase!  It is so nice for family and friends to support the students, and we bring a few areas together, heck if we were more like the hockey leagues, imagine our showcases!  Ok now I don’t have enough energy for that this month, but it is a great idea.  Maybe a project for another decade?  When I’m really bored and all my kids have actually moved out and don’t plan on returning?  

Taking Steps Against Breast Cancer ~ Fundraiser with The Gals

Well it is that time again!  For the annual Taking Steps Against Breast Cancer gala at the Stone Willow Outdoor Venue!   Steph (a bunch of) The Gals will be playing again!  It has been a fun time of meeting up again for regular practices!  The winter the Gals did several of their own gigs as my schedule as usual became overloaded.  During that time a few went off to different avenues and venues and a new one joined and another returned!   Regardless we all know that at anytime we can all come and go and join in and out and grow and change as a group.  The awesome part is the “group“ as we feel like “the Gals” is by far our actual name, found many songs that they practiced over the winter and have their own segment of material and it sounds awesome!   Some of our standards are also back on the table and sounding stronger than ever!  The group has moved up in the vocal department with everyone feeling so much more confident and use to PA’s and microphones and working in a group!  The harmonies are beautiful and song choices are fun!  So the evening of June 2nd will unfold with social time and visiting in the White Tent, which Is always beautifully decorated, the project is always amazingly put together by Marlene Foreman with a fantastic buffet dinner by WildStone‘s Rhonda Klein, complete with  door prizes and silent auction!    I was asked again this year to bring together the entertainment which is how the group of Gals was formed.  I pooled together former or current adult students of Deep Waters Music and created a fun group for the evening.  The cool part is it just kept going!  We were asked to do more venues and as I said the group changed and shifted and is back to exactly where we started!  With Lori Burlingham (ECE worker, crazed guitar enthusiast/ singer and mom of three great kids, also a few of which are guitar enthusiasts and one great little singer!! ),  Kim Anderka (veterinarian by day, amazing guitar player/singer by stolen free moments between work and children) Julie Pellizzari (ECE worker, percussion/Cajon player who we lovingly drag out after work away from her hubby and two awesome daughters)  Lisa Turunen our youngest member, all the way from Australia (who loves her job with Rhonda at the Wildstone Bar and Grill, and is our ukulele player with just the sweetest voice and personality, who also plays the harmonica!!)  and Tasmin Sterkenburg, our newest member (we think she works somewhere very important with numbers and figures and is our newest Ukulele player, with great vocals and new fun songs that we just “Lava”)   and you may think… that’s it??? But no we have some other awesome young singers coming out to join us for the earlier part of the evening.  Some of my little students will perform.  My good ole 9 year old side kick Ella Manzer will join me earlier on stage (as music is from 6:30 til 9:30) Ella and I perform together fairly frequently and just had a show at South Perth Fun Fair and played this same venue last year (and we always have fun!)   DCVI student Delaney Schoelier will bring her powerhouse vocals and talent to the stage and Emee Fink a St Mike’s student, who is also another powerhouse singer (and who also works for Rhonda at the Wildstone) will join us!!  So many amazing women of all ages to join me and share their gift of music for such a great cause!  And we can’t wait to see who joins in the jam sessions in the next year??   I think we have a few on deck (Christa, Teresa and Katherine???) and maybe a token guy… John???  Or maybe it is someone we have not met… yet??  So you know the drill, if you are looking for a great night out with some fun music, do not hesitate!  It is summer time!!  And our only other event that we know of (besides maybe a random street jam) will be at the Museum on my Museum worthy Birthday!!   Maybe they will keep me??  So here we go, with one of my several music projects,  with these gals who we love to give each other a hard time, we laugh, we talk (A LOT), we sometimes even have a moment when our mountain climbing years challenge us, we all bring our own little quirks, strengths and fun, (they have also amazingly learned how to keep me on task…) and is definitely is a project that lies very close to my heart!  

Mothers Day 2017

Another Mothers Day has come and gone, it is always an interesting day as the years can change the meaning and the  dynamics of the days events.  When your kids are little, typically, it is a beautiful and busy day of homemade cards, some seriously questionable breakfast made by little people and a lot of hugs.  It was my experience the breakfasts became much less questionable as the years passed by and now are quite outstanding!  Time, it seems now, is a much more valuable commodity with your kids as they get older.  With 3 adult sons and a 13year old, it is a challenge for us to all hit the same room at the same time for more than an hour and often mothers day goes in shifts.  This year was just as interesting as Dustin and his girlfriend Cass came through at 11 (which I had just woke up from playing a very late gig the night before) and I was heading out to pick up Max who was with his dad, and meet them in Tavistock.  Luckily we were able to quickly rearrange the morning and have them make the trip to St Marys so I could enjoy my surprise breakfast!  Complete with flowers and a great spread of food!  It was in just enough time to get to our band practice for a special project called HOME (that I have talked of last summer)  the group is comprised of my 4 sons, and my friends 3 (of 4) daughters who lived next door to us when our oldest kids were little.  Cheri’s girls also all have taken music from me at some point but mostly we are all like family.  Even the younger ones who didn’t grow up together after we all moved still have this cool familiarity!  We always joke with her 4 daughter and my 4 sons, we have lived vicariously through each other.  The 8 of us (as Cheri’s youngest Blair opted out but still singing her heart out in the background) have had many laughs and a lot of childhood stories!  Looking at them all today and this huge group, of absolutely different and dynamic people, all coming together to play music made for an interesting day of reflection and gratitude.  With the years of work, the years of love, sweat and tears put into raising these children in ever changing worlds, I must say it was pretty cool to see us all in this room playing music.  I don’t know if it is my age, but its like flashing back to these people as 3 and 4 year olds and just how far we have all come and what a great accomplishment to have been a part of this whole motherhood thing!  This crazy group of all of these kids (who all call me mom) will be playing at the Mitchell Canada Day Celebration where we will be opening for my kids dad’s show band, Fresh Horses.   A whole pile of history on one stage that is for sure!  So a quick band practice and more flowers and gifts arrived from my boys but my main goal was to have a picture with them all!  It was a fast moving visit but it was awesome and left Max and I for a cool movie night that Jesse crashed with his laundry!  And also on this day, on the other side of the coin, I think of my mom, who it is hard to believe it has been almost 12 years since she passed away.  I read posts by young people who lost their moms, and I know even at 38 it was a hard thing.  I may not have been dependent on her for those youthful needs but it was always a comfort to know I can call her anytime, to come and take care of the kids in the way that no one else could, just knowing she was a phone call away was of great comfort.  I think of what she brought to me, she was a tough cookie.  I learned resilience and perseverance and the unending love of a mother.  How many times in my life’s experience of being a mother did I think, oh, I would so pick up the phone an apologize to her for different things.  Things you cannot understand until you experience them as a mom.  But I figure she is watching and knowing from her place now.  She lived with Rheumatoid Arthritis for as long as I could remember, she didn’t complain, had more surgeries than the bionic woman and worked everyday that she could and could walk and out shop all of us!  So this summer as I round that crazy bend of turning 50 I want to walk and hike, as the one thing my mom always wanted to do if she “had better legs” was to hike and walk and walk and walk!  And when we were little we did hike the Bruce Trail, we biked and skied until she couldn’t. But not much kept her from moving at whatever pace she could keep up to.   This year I am going to find some of those trails and enjoy them and do some more reflecting on this whole ever changing motherhood thing, from all sides, and I without expectation I am hoping like motherhood it will be a really interesting and cool journey.   

The Magic Of Live Music

I guess my " thing" you could say is live music and this year seems to be full with more music.  I took a tour down to the Air Canada Centre in Toronto recently with my friend Julie to see John

Mayer.  We have both been long time fans and before we were friends we had a mutual love for His music!  Now I think he is one of the performers that falls into the category of being so much better live,  That isn't always the case in music as lots of acts depend on the studio magic to make them sound good and then there are the true performers that bring so much to the stage.  And they are even better than their recordings as the new dimension is added.  It helps that John has some of the best players in the world and has a wide variety of music.  But the magic happens live that is for sure.  Even if you see a band you wouldn't normally listen to and they have that "thing" going oh live, you may see them in a whole new light!   I have heard U2 is an experience and I did see Garth live in New York City and of course he was quite an entity!   I wouldn't listen to big band music necessarily but seeing a full band perform with its 20-30 pc band is amazing.  Out Toronto trip to see John Mayer was fun and new had as much fun prior just walking around down town and going for supper at the Elephant and Castle one of my favourite places to eat.  And our seats were pretty great although I would have liked to have been much closer, well on stage would have been even better!  A guest appearance from Canada's

Shawn Mendez was an awesome bonus and showed their great musicianship as the young Mendez played an acoustic duo with Mayer!  2 guitars and vocals shows the class of the musicians and it was amazing and flawless!  My second time seeing John Mayer in concert and both times were amazing. I hear there is a John Mayer Cruise, now that would take the cake!  I try to always be out supporting live music or playing live music and now I am putting together a full band for the summer and I'm super excited to do material that I haven't done prior as it didn't translate quite right as a solo or duo act.   I will be putting out details in the near future and I am pleased that the new Customs House in St Marys has live music!  So far there has been local bands who drew great crowds and an awesome young jazz guitar player this past Saturday eve with some smooth easy listening sounds!  I will be booking in for May and stoked to hear of an open mic in the near future!  And mark on your calendar the Stratford Blues Festival at the end of June and Mitchell's Canada Day Celebration if you are a live music enthusiast!  Yes, I am a bit one track minded but who doesn't love to be entertained?! 

Ben's Story - April 5th, 2017

Some people can be in your  life for years and don't ever really ever get to know them and some people can be there for only a short chapter and you feel like you have known them forever.  Benjamin fell into the second category and into our lives via my oldest son Dustin, at his recording studio.  I remember him talking about this guy from Hensall who came in to record and he said mom you'd love his music. And he wasn't wrong.  Flash forward, this kid with a huge personality and great sense of humour (complete with fake British accent) won all of our hearts.  I had always become “another mom” to the friends my sons brought home. And Ben went one step further and became a part of my teaching staff when I discovered he played piano.  His students adored him, basically, to know Ben was to love him.  Ben worked with me, played gigs with Dustin and I, we even wrote a song together, he became one of the family,  one of the boys.  This was solidified the day I heard a crash from the teaching room as my Washburn guitar fell which he was using it to teach.  The same guitar my sons had broken the head stock off not once, but 3 times before.  I said "Ben what was that?" from my desk and he said

"ummmm your guitar" and laughed his (how could you be mad at "me") sort of laugh and gave me that sheepish look and I said “well, I guess you're officially part of the family now!”  Then on a Tuesday morning Victoria Day 2015 I saw a news post, a 22 yr old had been in a car crash near Exeter at 7:50 and was airlifted with life threatening injuries , I knew that was Bens route to work.   My worry rose as he didn’t text back, when I messaged hey just an over reactive mom response… you got to work?  There was no timely response that he was known for.  I spent the day trying to find out what kind model his black little car was and then at 4:30 I got word he was in surgery after a head on collision with a transport and was critical.  After days of touch and go and us trying to help Ben's family cope with the stresses of being hung up in a hospital (bringing them food and drinks) he miraculously survived.  He came back faster and stronger than anyone could imagine, months before the doctors predicted and with more pins and rods and valves than you can imagine.  He had his guitar in his hand to recover, his family was intensely devoted and did not leave his side, we supported them in order to support him.  We had a benefit concert three weeks after and to everyone's amazement, Ben had himself wheeled in, broken and battling, and sang Drift away with the band.  It was one of the most moving moments I‘ve had and anyone there agreed.  Ben thrived but still had heart problems due to the accident. His damn aorta was just not co-operating with him after all of the damage it had undergone, but it didn't stop Ben

from going back to school to become a paramedic.  So fitting as he was a giving, loving kind of person and he was paying it forward.  He had found love in his personal life and with his friends and family who were so passionately dedicated to him.  Like I said to know Ben was to love him, everyone agreed even if you got mad at Ben it wouldn't last, he would just give you that smile.  Then he had one more surgery, from what I understood as it had been awhile since I had visited with Ben and he was busy with his new chapter in life. And yet on a Tuesday, while at the stop lights, I thought, I must message Ben.  The next day I read a post by his sister he was having open heart surgery that day. I quick sent him a message hoping he'd find it in recovery and he responded a quick Thanks Steph:)  His usual timely response.  I watched for an update and in this case “no news was not good news” finally I read unexpected and severe complications arose during his surgery and again we waited like a flash back of almost two years earlier.  Finally the devastating news arrive that Ben had slipped away from us, my heart broke for his family.   And for everyone who had loved him, and there were many.   He left this plain for what I imagine to be a softer gentler place, without the limitations of our physical being. His energy, larger than life, has now become infinite and his music lives on.  We all came together as musicians, family and friends to create together the most beautiful celebration of life held at his high

school gym, lead by his music teacher.  The day was filled with music and memories and any other spaces were filled with Ben’s cd playing right until the last moment of the day as we packed up and beyond, as while in the vehicles it was still playing, wrapping us with his presence,  his huge presence and I was honoured to sing hallelujah for the final song of the celebration, One of Ben's favourite songs to sing, I sent out a silent request to Ben to help me deliver it to this gymnasium full of his friends and family and with an inspired moment I sang Hallelujah…  and it goes like this the forth the fifth, the minor falls and the major lifts.  Ben will be missed just like Little Will from St Marys, whom I've heard of so much of and Dan Rankin as well,  their fragile hearts and big spirits moved on way to soon and yet we are so much richer for having had them in our lives... and in our hearts they will live on forever.

oOoooO MoRE ImproV!! March 5th, 2017

OK I promise, this is the last time I will write about Improv (no, never mind, I'm sure this is not really the last time) Friday night our troupe came together in a way that made us so proud of ourselves!!  Our opening show at the beautiful St Marys town hall theatre was a blast! My cheeks hurt from laughing and the crowd was on fire (well not literally but they could've been with all the heat they were giving us) our Improv teacher who I have lovingly renamed "Chef Ramsey of the Theater" was laughing so hard at our work, we knew we had done a good job and made her proud and our work as her graduates!!  After our pre-show warm-ups backstage, I I was getting a bit nervous listening to the people arrive, I worried that I would draw a blank.  At that moment I decided I should revert back to my public/high school roll of joke making, disturbance creator, class clown and pull from my memory bank to keep my momentum up and myself on track. (ironically I would still have to painfully still keep quiet in my seat until centre stage)   It made me think of my recent trip to a local school to do my Mini Music program with a kindergarten group.  One little fellow had a rather hard time sitting still (I could relate to his struggle) and at the end when I decided to sing with them old McDonald had a farm he piped right up and sang it in his loudest (what I thought sounded like) true pirate voice, (making complete perfectimprov sense)  I made sure to encourage his hearty pirate voice and joined in with him!  He suddenly became the most enthusiastically and full participant!!!  At the end he was the first to jump up and thank me and gave me great big hug!!   Those are my greatest moments of feeling achievement and breaking through to ALL in my group!  I always make it my goal to find a way to channel everyone's energy in a class,

mind you I'm not teaching math (my sympathies).  But it do feel that "over active" youth often grow up to be the most energetic and enthusiastic people in communities. Some you may work with, or work for.  There are certain people like myself who love the energy and connection of stage and audience and pull out even more material and information when the crowd is in the room, (which was not particularly appreciated by my school teachers!) a friends after the show mentioned it their high school drama days, which I realized I had not done!  I saved my drama for the other classes and majored in typing and hanging out in the smoking area. (which was located just outside back hallway door in 80's) I remember Mr. Barns my high school teacher (who's voice I one day heard downtown in his store in St Marys and did a double take) when he asked me if he should take a picture of me, to remember who I was for next time I decided to attend class! Also the award I won for the most detentions. (proud to beat out all of my male competitors) and in the same fashion as I received all of my detention slips I received my well deserved award with a smile and a wave to

my fans!!  Having said this, I did manage to pass and head off to college and take TV Broadcasting which I loved!  I am sure that many of them would be surprised (including Mr Barns) that beyond my youth antics  (I believe) I turned out to be a decent contributor to the planet!  I give all of my students the same respect and enthusiasm and guidance.  I love people,  making them feel better, making them laugh and I love an audience.  Improv is my perfect hobby!   For us class clowns it gives us a place to shine and for the shyest people it helps them to come out of their shell and to find their voice and courage.  It is great to imagine and have fun and to think on the spot and to work with others in a supportive and positive team like manner while accept and support their suggestions, (many key elements in life).   It also helps me working with kids, who already know all of these techniques and haven't been trained out of their imagination yet.  ie. when I asked my one student what he wanted to do when he grew up, he said he and his friends had decided they were heading to Africa and would run a Zoo and his friend was going to ride his pet Lion!  My reply:. OOOOOO sounds like a Wonderful Adventure!!!