Camp Bimini - 2017

Well as I reached the table to sign Max in for teen week at Bimini, Carol reminded me, this would be my last time waiting in line at camp with my kids.  She asked me how many years it has been and I had just been thinking about it and figured (although I wasn't exactly sure) it was around 15 years from start to finish.   15 years of waiting patiently with an excited camper(s) in tow, ready for a week of all out fun, high energy outdoor activities, adventure and lasting friendships!    As 50 awaits me, patiently around the corner, lurking, I realize that I am now entering territory that is completely new to me.  No more kids in public school, 3/4s of them not living at home.  If it wasn't for my straggler, I would be completely empty nested.  Which even with only one at home I realize how strange this feels.  I am in no hurry for his high school years to end as I know all to well how quickly these (longest/shortest) years pass by.  I haven't been completely dumped into the "uncool department" by Max but only because some of his friends think that I am "ok".  I mean the only people not impressed by my job and my musician lifestyle are my kids.  Who think it is normal, boring, inconvenient, and well I'm sure lots of other things that I haven't thought of.  I guess everyone else's life always looks more interesting.  But then again, when was it ever easy to impress a teenager?    At least I understand the teenage stage from experience.  It's what I like to call the "tending the empty store stage"  you can't leave and go anywhere because they could resurface at any moment.  And a pretty much you can count on the fact they will be "starving" and nothing in the

house will appear to be of any interest to them.  Sleep becomes the new pass time, that falls second ONLY to their social network.   Friends and social is now at the top of the list, and I am very glad that at least I have a previous map from my older 3 sons.  The male language will become barely audible, which led me to constant reminders that "mumbling" and "shrugging" is unacceptable form of communication.  I made a big point of redirecting this with my other sons who are all very good communicators. (although now the challenge is getting in the same room with them for any length of time).  But this is a result of raising kids who are independent and doing their own thing.  During the teen years I moved myself into the management position.  I try to give piles of leeway for them taking care of their world, with only a few things being the worth going to battle about.  I figure if you haven't instilled what you want to instill in them by around the age of 10, you're quite likely beyond redirect.  The teenage years I hear are very different for girls then for boys.  Boys you just want them to stay safe and survive the reckless activities they may see as a great idea in their momentary thinking.  Girls, from what I hear share their hormonal, emotional roller coaster ride everyone who happens to be in the building or the vicinity.  But as I know first hand about sons, I know they can somewhat withdrawn, but you can always guarantee they will show up when hunger calls, regardless of whether there is "nothing to eat" in the full fridge and any disagreements or disputes are not really held for any longer than the incident itself. (which is kinda nice!)   Sleep as I mentioned is that new hobby that we question, however I did watch a documentary before my first batch of teens that stated, it is not

actually laziness, it is actually the bodies response to this giant growth spurt their bodies and brains are going through, it is comparable to that of which an infant goes through and the sleep requirement is very important for brain development.  It was called "Inside the Teenage Brain".  I was really glad I watched it, because I don't know I would have handled all the sleepers quite so well. It was also stated that this stage was a formative part of the brain and personality development, and what they learn in these years is very indicative of their adult lives.  So positive, functional lifestyles can be great for their future!   I always love talking to teens and seeing where they are at, this age group is very interesting and there is so much knowledge available to them now, they are a really cool generation with a lot of really interesting ideals and very good at articulating them.  Some are 100% sure of what they want to do in the future and some are still looking. I find my students are all so interesting to work with. At the last showcase I found myself watching Dustin's student watching him intently for direction during their performance and was impressed with the guidance they accepted from us as their teachers and the trust in what we are showing them.  Then I thought of Dustin questioning me and anything I ever had to offer him in the way of a suggestion and I had a big chuckle as I realized there is a good chance we can not get this from our own kids. (but as my mom said... "just you wait, you'll have kids worse than you.. but I didn't)  But it is healthy as they grow and age, to separate from us, I mean if they needed us to go to their first job interview with them and hold their hand, well we could be pretty much guaranteed we'd be paying for them to live at home forever.  And as much as it is hard to watch them grow and become independent, free thinking young adults, who will inevitably make mistakes that will give them the life experience to grow and find their life path, I think it is natural to find it bitter sweet.  To watch them go and realize it is great and sad all at the same time.  To have the house for a week, kid free, and yet a bit too strangely quiet, but not

really.  Knowing it is taking them to the next stage of independence and sporadic visits that I love.  So to say that after my conversation with Carol (even though my car will be back for 4 years I'm sure for Max to be a Councillor)  I know that my waiting in line is now done, the walk back to my car seemed a bit odd, a bit nostalgic.  Drop off as a Councillor is much different) Our conversation in line was good, and these are moments of the next 4 years that I know I will savoir.  I and at that time I will be closing in on 20years of "to Bimini and back".  And as slow as that line up to see Carol did seem all those years, how fast it has gone by!!