Fears and Phobias... And Spiders

I had a request of some article ideas and one of them was phobias, which I thought I could easily write upon from personal experience as I sure do have some that have been challenged lately.  Now fear as defined in the dictionary is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.”  Which could be rational and real.  A phobia is defined as “an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something”.   So that makes it irrational where as a fear could be rational…  So here is my personal take on the subject… Hiking lately I have faced one of my phobias… spiders… the very thought of them runs pangs of crazy fear through all of my veins, and yet, are they in any way going to harm me?   Ah, no!  But my word, I have quite a reaction to these tiny (but gianormous looking creatures)  that I don’t seem to be able to get a grip on.    So at Wildwood while walking the trails the humid, hot weather seemed to attract spiders, spiders and more spiders!  Their webs crossed the trails in some spots and created obstacles.  If able to we would duck under them or around them, but they were everywhere and reappeared in bigger numbers and webs the next day.  Although I completely had the phobic heebeegeebees, about them, I was fascinated and took lots of pictures of their amazing webs.  Which made me less fearful and less phobic and was fine as long as they were not close enough to touch me.  And sometimes phobias can create more of a danger than the actual “unrealistic fear” actually can.  For example, me walking up the path, thinking it was clear and straight into a giant web, in which I immediately jolted back from, and let me set this up, I was heading up a hill with my Commander Kim behind me and my boxer dog Nikki, who is like a crazed moose in the wild was also running the trail.  Soooo as I walk into the web, and immediately (irrationally) freak out, my dog decides it’s the perfect time to run directly behind me as I am trying to step back out of the web (which has a big huge mother of a spider in it) and I proceed to begin falling backwards, down a hill, and in CKs recollection, in slow motion.  Which I would agree.  I knew I was falling, I knew my moose of a dog was under my legs and that this was a hill, which did not offer any level ground to save myself on.  AND there was a big ginormous spider somewhere in the mix!  So as I think, oh @!#! I am falling, still a bit surprised and very conscious it will not be at the expense of my ankle.  (I had promised myself if I was to fall again I would do it fainting goat style as to never reinjure that spot again!!)  And since I’m already half sitting on the dog there wasn’t really that much further to go.  Luckily we were in the tall grassy area that was like landing on a cloud and fortunate to have.  And after cursing the dog, I could hear CK saying, but are you ok??? Are you OK?? And by this time I was laughing saying yes, Im good,  and I had not only survived the spider I had survived the moose and the fall.  And we started to laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and glad no one else was on the trail to see this ridiculous episode.  (so instead I’ll write about it) but reflecting back on it (which I am not able to do without laughing) I realize that maybe my fear, or phobia of spiders is actually more dangerous than the threat of the spider (which is NONE)  well not in Ontario anyways.  And I do know that if I ever see a spider in my car, I PULL OVER… because then an irrational fear could become seriously dangerous!!  Then as my friend said, I become like a mob boss, I kill it, it’s family and burn down it’s home. (ok well not really but it is my deepest instinct).  So I am trying to make peace with spiders or at least avoid them and It actually makes me appreciate the colder weather which brings our area to have much less to be phobic of, not like in other warm countries where they grow giant insects that I don’t think I could ever come to peace with.  Baby steps!!  And then there are just good old fears.  Like crossing the street when cars start out far away and really have no intention of slowing down.  I think my fear is far more rational then the spider one.  A full size vehicle with a driver that clearly doesn’t have any concept of erring on the side of caution actually could be tragic.  And it made me miss BC… very few bugs and very courteous drivers.  People let people in and if you were crossing the street traffic stopped.  You step up to a curb and both directions stop.  It is weird and takes a lot to get use to as here in Ontario we like to speed up and drivers are often (not all by any means) can be very aggressive and un-courteous.   And sometimes it rationally makes me fear for my life.  So I know I should listen to that and no fainting goat stance in the intersections.  Fear of crowds can be real but not a danger, planes, well maybe, maybe not.  It is a bit of a balancing act, we must live our lives fully and face our fears, without being reckless and endangering yourself and others.  And spiders… well I’m still working on that!